Female Nigger in her Natural Habitat.
After Judge Cabrera’s historic ruling, little Clitoria Jackson will likely undergo a name change.
(DETROIT) In a decision that’s expected to send shockwaves through the African-American community—and yet, give much relief to teachers everywhere—a federal judge ruled today that black women no longer have independent naming rights for their children. Too many black children—and many adults—bear names that border on not even being words, he said.
“I am simply tired of these ridiculous names black women are giving their children,” said U.S. Federal Judge Ryan Cabrera before rendering his decision. “Someone had to put a stop to it.”
The rule applies to all black women, but Cabrera singled out impoverished mothers.
“They are the worst perpetrators,” he said. “They put in apostrophes where none are needed. They think a ‘Q’ is a must. There was a time when Shaniqua and Tawanda were names you dreaded. Now, if you’re a black girl, you hope you get a name as sensible as one of those.”
Few stepped forward to defend black women—and black women themselves seemed relieved.
“It’s so hard to keep coming up with something unique,” said Uneeqqi Jenkins, 22, an African-American mother of seven who survives on public assistance. Her children are named Daryl, Q’Antity, Uhlleejsha, Cray-Ig, Fellisittee, Tay’Sh’awn and Day’Shawndra.
Beginning in one week, at least three white people must agree with the name before a black mother can name her child.
“Hopefully we can see a lot more black children with sensible names like Jake and Connor,” Cabrera said.
His ruling stemmed from a lawsuit brought by a 13-year-old girl whose mother created her name using Incan hieroglyphics.
“She said it would make me stand out,” said the girl, whose name can’t be reproduced by The Peoples News’ technology. “But it’s really just stupid.”
The National Association of Elementary School Teachers celebrated Cabrera’s decision.
“Oh my God, the first day of school you’d be standing there sweating, looking at the list of names wondering ‘How do I pronounce Q’J’Q’Sha.’?” said Joyce Harmon, NAEST spokeswoman. “Is this even English?”
The practice of giving black children outlandish names began in the 1960s, when blacks were getting in touch with their African roots, said historian Corlione Vest. But even he admits it got out of hand.
“I have a niece who’s six. I’m embarrassed to say I can’t even pronounce her name,” said Vest, a professor at Princeton University. “Whenever I want to talk to her, I just wait until she looks at me and then I wave her over.”
Cabrera’s ruling exempted black men because so few of them are actually involved in their children’s lives.
Note: This article is satire, brought to you by the creative minds at The Peoples News. It’s not real, but we hope it made you think.
© 2008 The Peoples News
http://thepeoplesnews.wordpress.com/2008/03/02/federal-judge-enough-with-the-stupid-names/
I realize this is satire. Let me add a serious note. Unusual names indeed stand out. We want others to remember us, so such names give children a good start as a distinct person. It’s a global village now. How many Johns and Suzies do we want? You parents looking for a name: Just make sure others can pronounce the name as written. Who will forget President Obama’s first name?
PS: I loved the picture.
“Who will forget President Obama’s first name”? Is it Borat?
You wont have to worry about who remembers Obama’s name as president.
Because there is no way in hell he will be president. You live in a fantasy world.
Do the math. There are not enough stupid white people out there that will vote for him, and last I looked there’s not enough blacks to put him in office.
Having these one of a kind names is stupid. I saw a girl named Latrina at a restaurant. Can’t YOU people even read? Naming your kid something that sounds like latrine? You may need a dictionary for that one. I’ll be happy if everyone on the planet is named John Smith or Jane Johnson. Give it up with how unique it is. I hear those dumb names and it makes me sick. It also makes me realize how much of a dumb ass the parent(s) are.
Speak English or die!!!
I think it’s great that blacks use these bizarre names. it really is the only way we can identify the latest rapist/thief/murderer’s race, since the jew controlled mainstream media has made it verboten to expose such information. So bring on the Laq’sha’s!
LOL @ niggers!
Well gee, without all these goofy names, US Rep Sheila Jackson-Lee wouldn’t have anything like her recent bitch about hurricanes not having any black sounding names to make a fool out of herself over. We, as a society, desperately need these names so we can cull out those job applicants who obviously haven’t had a decent education force fed them…just for starters. Speaking of education, it’s obvious that there’s been a lack of it for AT LEAST 2 to 3 generations when names like this start popping up in a community. Do we really need to subject oueselves unnecessarily to these uneducated, lackadaisical fools? I think not and therefore stand all in favor of them naming themselves any ridiculous thing they want! Hmmm… Maybe we need a 3 white person panel just to insure that they choose an appropriately ludicrous, obnoxious name.
Unfortunately, may Whites are beginning to use creative spellings for their children’s names. The White degradation reminds me of an old saying: The negro may not be able to rise to your level, but he will try to drag you down to his.
I knew this story couldn’t be true. Can you imagine what would happen to a judge who told nigger women to give their kids normal names? LOL The liberal asswipes would tar and feather him. But unfortunately Ronduck is right. A lot of whites are becoming more and more like nigger trash. What do you expect? They’re indoctrinated in liberal politics from kindergarten to college. I give this country another 10 years at the most before complete destruction. And less than five years if Obamination ends up being elected by niggers and stupid whites.
I think in some European countries there are lists of names that must be used.